Blog

World Mental Health Day is on 10 October, and this year’s theme is ‘Lived Experiences Heard: Real Voices, Real Change’. Gambling can have a big impact on mental health, but it doesn’t often come up when people talk about how they’re feeling. Tom Lamb, a member of the Chapter One team, has lived experience of gambling harms. He now delivers training to help professionals spot the signs and get people the right support. Here, he shares how gambling affected his mental health, what helps him now, and what he’d say to anyone who feels gambling is affecting theirs. 

During the years gambling was part of your life, how did it affect the way you felt day to day, and how important was change? 

When I was gambling, I remember being so absorbed with it that it would dictate my mood. If I won, I was in a great mood. If I lost (which was more often), I was in a bad mood. But the more it went on, I started to notice that the other areas of my life that gambling was impacting were affecting my mental health and wellbeing: being isolated from friends and family, and feeling anxious on a daily basis due to financial pressures, relationship breakdowns and no direction or purpose, as I was solely focused on gambling. 

Change was really important. I lost who I was when I was gambling, and I missed nights out with friends, going to gigs, watching football and creating memories with my family. Since I have stopped, I have been able to re-engage with all of these, and I feel this shows how important and successful change was. 

When did you first connect how you were feeling with gambling? What made it click? 

Unfortunately, this came with hindsight. When I had hit my lowest moment, I needed to do a lot of reflection, and within this reflection I noticed gambling had made me a very anxious, worried and snappy person. I looked back on relationships that had been damaged, some beyond repair, and understood the impact it  had on those closest to me. This clicked once I had stopped. 

Gambling was somewhat of a mask. It hid the harms that it was causing me because I was so absorbed by the products and incentives to gamble. I became great at wearing a mask around my friends and family and portraying that I was fine. At one point in time, gambling perversely led me to think I was safe and secure. This was incredibly brief, as it soon became something that I had to do to get through a day. It absorbed all of my thinking and turned me into someone who, if I met them today, I would not recognise. 

This year’s World Mental Health Day theme is ‘Lived Experiences Heard: Real Voices, Real Change’. Why does it matter that people who’ve been affected by gambling are part of the conversation, and what change would you like to see come from it? 

I think it’s great that lived experience is the theme of World Mental Health Day. Lived experience in all challenging areas of life is a really important and valuable voice that needs to be in the room. Firstly, it takes incredible bravery for people to share the experiences that they have been through. Someone who makes themselves vulnerable and puts their story out there should be treated with empathy, understanding and respect. 

I think it’s really important because who knows better than someone who has experienced it first-hand? All the research and science behind the risks of gambling and indicators that someone can experience harm can help to clarify why someone may have experienced harms, but for someone to share the harms they have experienced and put their voice out there is greatly impactful and can have huge ripple effects locally and nationally. 

The changes I guess I would like to see are less of a ‘wheeling out’ of people with lived experience, and more direct involvement of lived experience. It’s critical to move at the individual’s pace and with what they are comfortable sharing, and reimbursement for their time is also crucial. 

What do you do now to look after your mental health, and what helps on harder days? 

These days, I have lots of coping mechanisms to help with my mental health. But I do still have bad days, and on those bad days I need to remind myself that this is one day at a time and you never really know what tomorrow will bring. 

To keep on top of my mental health, I do cold showers in the mornings (not as bad as you think). I make sure to get my steps in and exercise. Seeing my mates is a huge thing for me. Engaging with hobbies once more and putting myself out there in situations where I wouldn’t have even a year ago has had a hugely positive impact on my mental health and wellbeing. 

But ultimately, I lacked purpose when I gambled because I was so fixated on it. Now I have an 18-month-old daughter, and honestly, she makes me laugh every day, and laughter is the best medicine. She’s the best. 

How has your mental health improved since stopping gambling? 

It’s definitely improved substantially, but I still get anxious on a daily basis. I honestly feel mental health and wellbeing is an ongoing thing. Some days are great and other days are not as great, but ‘this too shall pass’, so I take each day as it comes. 

But now I have more free time and my mind is more clear, I am a way more present dad, son and friend for everyone closest to me, and that has a great impact on my mental health and wellbeing. 

Gambling took a lot away from me, so my job role also contributes, as it’s great to give back and provide support to anyone who may be experiencing similar things to what I did. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and you never know what is ahead. 

What can friends and family do if they’re worried about someone’s mental health and think gambling could be part of it? 

As difficult as it may be, having the conversation is the first step. Remember to be open and ask open questions. I think it’s also really important to understand the impacts that you will also be feeling, and be kind to yourself. There is help and support out there for your loved one, but also for you. 

My friends had no idea what I was going through up until I told them, and I have known them since I was 11 years old. My family, having spoken to them since, always felt something was wrong (constantly borrowing money, not seeing or being in contact for a while), but they believed that I was experiencing other harms. But I still hid these harms from them, and was able to, as none of them suspected it could be gambling. It’s important to highlight this, as the society we live in has normalised gambling. It’s promoted as a fun, safe and harmless activity, but obviously this is not true, and 99% of people who gamble lose in the long run and every pound these companies make comes from people losing. 

Gambling doesn’t always come up when someone speaks to a GP or a mental health service. From your training work, what do you want professionals to ask or look out for? 

I think the same questions need to be asked about gambling as they are about alcohol and drugs. These give your GP an indicator and also could highlight mental health impacts. This could be the same if someone is experiencing gambling harms, and early intervention and identification can help somebody get the relevant support that they need. 

I think from an educational standpoint also, with gambling harms being on the curriculum, it’s important that children and young people are being educated on gambling and its potential harms. I didn’t know what a credit score was until I was in my mid-20s, and although I can’t say whether my story would have been different in any way, I do feel that if I had had some education, I would have been able to better understand what was happening to me and also where to get support. 

I also think it’s important for professionals to learn about gambling and gambling harms through training. From our sessions, we often get feedback about how insightful and informative the training is, and I feel that with this knowledge professionals are better equipped to signpost to relevant support. There is so much support out there for anyone who may be impacted by gambling, and it’s vital that people are informed of these services. 

The most important thing is to talk. It may be an uncomfortable conversation and potentially challenging, but starting the conversation is the first step. From there, move with the person to find out the best support for them. Recovery is not a one-size-fits-all journey

What would you say to someone reading this who feels gambling is affecting their mental health? 

There is help out there. Fundamentally. And secondly, you are not alone. Gambling impacts millions across the UK, but having said that, your story is your story and unique to you. 

My experience was a lot of guilt, shame and sadness caused by gambling. And that can take time to be fixed and repaired, but you can be supported throughout this. As with the professionals, the first step is talking. There is a stigma around gambling and gambling addiction, and to be brave enough to challenge that and speak out about it takes a lot of courage. And the reactions you receive may not be as bad as you think. 

Although no one can directly understand you and your story, there will be similarities in other people’s stories and journeys. You are not alone, and support is out there.